The ugliness of the anti-women attitudes in India is difficult to confront and yet it's vital that we confront it. Through a candid conversation with an 18-year-old girl who decided to keep her identity private, we discover the struggle that many Indian women continue to fight even in modern families.
The Weight of Patriarchy
The patriarchy of India isn't just a matter for tradition—it's a shadow affecting everyday life. In wealthy families, men receive unspoken benefits while women are left to do their own labor, with expectations that are not recognized by the people in their midst. Boys are praised at birth, but girls could be left disappointed or worse.
Families Still Follow Old Scripts
Our interviewee explainedthat "When a boy is born, the celebration is grand. But multiple daughters? That's when somber rituals happen in the background." Gifting practices reveal this divide. There are instances of parents demanding more from their daughter-in law's family in the event that they have a daughter and thereby highlighting how the ingrained gender discrimination in India continues to be.
Unfortunately, these customs exist in tandem with even more tragic reality—a tales of young girls who have been lost to the culture that values sons. The sorrow of her voice was apparent as she reminisced about the aching sadness that accompanied the many occasions.
Youth and Changing Perceptions
One could hope that the younger generations will break away from the rigid views that were prevalent in the past. However, as one of our readers observed, a lot of teens and young adults continue to perpetuate outdated stereotypes, sometimes subtly, believing they are modern, while reiterating the same old stories.
"They see themselves as progressive, yet judge women for their choices and reinforce the idea that men are naturally entitled."
They may not enforce the rules in a public manner—however, judging women for their independence, whether it's drinking or working, or even posting on social media—is widespread. The anonymous interviewee explained that even in the present being "too modern" or simply being open about your life puts women at risk of being ridiculed or even worse. The atmosphere is uncomfortable and it's difficult to not feel angry.
The Double Burden on Women
A major complaint was the notion that women can do it all and split the bills, run a household, and take care for their partner's family often without acknowledgment. Some men are demanding respect from women, but offering nothing in return. They expect wives to behave as they would in traditional society and even demand to be praised for basic behavior, such as not engaging in sexual abuse.
Our interviewee stated, "There's a belief that women are praised over the top while men claim to be ignored. But those same voices overlook the reality that women carry the bulk of physical and emotional work at home."
The negative reactions women receive when they contest norms are common. Dismissals, scathing language and even threats are designed to shut down female voices. Online spaces are battlegrounds because women are targeted for expressing themselves.
Modern Woman, Age-old Expectations
Despite significant progress for Indian women in terms of education and work participation (World Bank 2023)—The majority of people believe that women must appear "pure," submissive, and always-caring. When they step outside of these boundaries, resentments and threats are a result. It's heartbreaking, but it's not uncommon.
Enduring and Resisting
Hope however, is present in every woman who acknowledges these issues and helps others. The courage to voice your opinion like our interviewee did can help move conversations forward, bit by bit.
In reflecting about her experience, I realized how deeply anti-women attitudes in India affect our daily lives and why tackling patriarchy is both personal and urgent. The path towards gender equality isn't complete, but each voice contributes to the cause. If you are asking yourself, how is patriarchy sustained in India—The answer is not only in the laws and politics, but in daily choices we make and the traditions we choose to either keep or challenge.
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